Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
