Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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