can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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