Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
