I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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