he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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