I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy