I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize