its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
