**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
