I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
