I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
