She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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