As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
