chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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