the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
