Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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