that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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