my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
