I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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