You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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