He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize