You're a womanizer and a bitch.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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