Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize