my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
