Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
