So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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