I'm gonna have a badass scar
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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