'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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