is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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