Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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