He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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