You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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