Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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