U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
