Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
