Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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