Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.

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(909): View more from California

dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.

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(707): View more from California

I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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(503): View more from Oregon

We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

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(330): View more from Ohio

They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me

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