I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
