Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize