Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
