I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You are a genius and a whore.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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