3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
