Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
