i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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