i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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