Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
