Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
