hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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