Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize