Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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