Don't make out with my wife yet
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
