you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
