So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your penis caused this!
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