Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize